Leesa’s  Crackers

Not many more sleeps until Christmas and the countdown is on to the big day. 

Without a doubt, one of the best things about Christmas is the jokes in the crackers at meal time.

A good belly-laugh helps bring magic to Christmas Day. Leesa has found some real crackers!

Communications volunteer, Leesa, loves a laugh and has done some research to give us some emergency back-up gags in case your cracker jokes don’t live up to expectations this year. 

Feel free to memorise a few so you can be assured of bringing Christmas cheer to many. Enjoy!

Drumroll please...

How do you wash your hands over the holidays?

Answer:   With Santatizer

Why does Santa have three gardens?

Answer:     So he can ho ho ho.

What do you get when you combine a Christmas tree with an ipad?

Answer:      A pineapple.

What do you get when you cross a duck with Santa?

Answer:       A Christmas quacker.

What do you call a blind reindeer?

Answer:      I have no eye deer.

What’s every elf’s favourite type of music?  

Answer:     Wrap

How do you know when Santa’s around?

Answer:     You can always sense his presents.

Why is Santa so good at karate?

Answer:    Cause he’s got a black belt.

What do you get when you deep fry Santa?

Answer:     Crisp Cringle.

How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?

Answer:       Nothing it was on the house.

What’s a perfect gift for a station master during Christmas?

Answer:      Platform Shoes.

You may also like

  • Vale, Jasper

    It is with much sadness that we announce the passing our four-legged volunteer and friend, Jasper, a 12 year-old border collie.

    Read More
  • Simple Tips for Beating Stress

    Stress can overburden your mind with incessant worries, but learning ways to manage out stress levels can give us a boost in our moods, relationships, work performance, energy levels and general happiness.

    Read More
  • Thunderstorm Asthma Season - What do I need to know?

    Be aware of the risk of thunderstorm asthma throughout the grass pollen season and be appropriately prepared.

    Read More
Speech Pathology for Kids

Speech Pathology for Kids

Speech pathologists provide assessment and management of communication, swallowing and feeding difficulties.

Read More
Community Transport

Community Transport

We have been offering safe and quality door-to-door transport options to our community since 1975.

Read More
Occupational Therapy Week 21-27 October

Occupational Therapy Week 21-27 October

We provide Occupational Therapy to help children, adults and those experiencing mental health issues, to achieve their full potential.

Read More